So lets see, where to start. I guess first off I should let anyone bored enough to have stumbled on this know what it is we're doing and who we are. We're two non-native Rhode Islanders intent on doing a nearly full cross country tour in our old Buick Roadmaster wagon. I'm Rob and my wife is Miriam. Our wonderful old-man of a pitbull is Diesel, although sadly for logistics and sanity reasons (his AND ours), he wont be joining us on our trek. I'm a New York transplant to "lil' Rhody" as of the late 90s and my lovely wife has been here since she was 3 3/4 and is originally from Oregon via Maryland. So I guess we're not truly transplants having not moved here of our own free will and with our own devices and all, but still...I pride myself on NOT being a native Rhode Islander.
Before we actually get to our plan, I suppose it is important to introduce those out-of-the-loopers to its genesis. Some years ago (nearly 6 to be exact) we took a trip cross-country to ferry Miriam's cousin's Honda CRV crammed with camping and moving supplies from RI to Seattle, Washington. What was supposed to be a fun moving trip with Lauren and Terapat (Miriam's cousin and her then fiance) turned out to be one of, if not the most, cherished memories of our relationship. I should mention that this first great adventure in our time as a couple was accomplished separately from Lauren and Terapat, in that we drove Lauren's car while L&T drove his much awesomer Subaru Impreza (sorry Lauren!). One saving grace is that we did not suffer from the stinky air-conditioner backup that the Subie had, although at times I would have liked to have traded their extra power and rearward visibility for some air-con fungi!
Needless to say, there are few tests that will let you know if you love someone more than sitting in a small vehicle with them for sometimes 13 or 14 hours on end with ever-changing radio stations and very few showers over the course of a week. Add in someone's tendency to get testy when driving unfamiliar roads without clear directions and another person's pension for severe car-sickness and you have a fairly good litmus test for a potential marriage. Oh, and I should mention that I was (and still am for all intents and purposes) a very picky eater so camp food was a challenge as well (I'm trying to get better!!). Thinking back on all this, I must have been a pain in the ass on this trip! Sorry guys!
At the time we were not yet married (although engaged), both of us were between jobs (I had just finished my BA in History at URI and Miriam had just gotten NARHA certified as a Therapeutic Riding Instructor), still living with Miriam's genuinely awesome parents, and undecided on what to do with our lives exactly. The trip only lasted six days, but they were amazing. The most exotic place I had been prior to the trip was Florida, and let me tell you I am not a fan of flat swampland with more senior buffets than you can shake a stick at (luckily most of my visits down yonder were to Disney, so it wasnt "real" Florida). Miriam had traveled quite a bit both domestically and abroad, but from what I gather she was not usually cooped up in a vehicle for half a day at a time. I, on the other hand, was used to long-tour driving, although previous to this it hadn't been me that was actually doing the driving. Luckily for me and Carsick-McGhee on my right, I love driving and hate being a passenger so at least that worked well for us!
So that is where we were six years ago. Newly engaged, newly certified in our respective career fields, still living at home (or home-in-law), and utterly confused on where we were going in life. The trip was a great distraction from up and coming decisions that had to eventually be made, as well as the aforementioned great adventure that we hadn't quite anticipated.
So lets fast forward six years to now-ish. We are married (over four years at this point), own a home in Coventry, RI, have a lovely four-legged child named Diesel, and are both again unemployed. I should rewind again to about a year ago to give an idea of where we were when we decided that this trip needed to happen. I know, if we were watching a movie and I kept rewinding and skipping ahead and re-rewinding like this you probably would have gotten up and left by now, but just bear with me here and go get some more popcorn....
Lets look at a year or so ago. I was working as a Radiographer at the nations premier supplier of nuclear submarines and hating just about every minute of it. For those that don't know, a radiographer is someone who takes x-rays of welds for inspection purposes. There is also my definition....a radiographer is someone who hangs upside-down or is crammed in the most ungodly, unreachable crevices of a submarine only to wind up covered in fiberglass shavings and paint dust and ends the day with a pretty picture of a weld that is promptly rejected by someone sitting in a nice office all day for not being pretty enough or is accepted and filed away in a box never to be seen again. While I did pride myself in working where I did and helping build some of the most complex and advanced machines on earth, I was not getting a whole lot of satisfaction out of my work (as I hope I clearly illustrated in my above prose). I had originally started working as a welder and at one point loved my job, but made the transition to inspection at the urging of my at-work-grandfather, Paul. If I had stayed in welding I don't think I would have ever left that shipyard. I know his intention was not to drive me out of there but I do owe him much thanks and I don't think I ever got to tell him that. So Paul, if you're reading this, thank you.
Miriam had taken a turn for the worst, so to speak, about three years prior. If you're keeping track of my timeline here that puts us at right about when Miriam and I got married. Actually, it was almost a month to the day after buying our house that she suffered a major nervous breakdown (sorry Love, I'm not sure what else to call it) and began a revolving-door cycle in and out of hospitals that should have gotten me at least a VIP parking pass right outside the main entrance to Rhode Island Hospital's emergency room (or at least got her a better bed). Anyone who has been through anything remotely like this with someone they love knows how incredibly taxing it is as an outsider, not knowing what they're going through and what will happen next. For the next year she was constantly in and out of hospitals and psych wards, partial and day programs, and eventually in a permanent 6-month program about three-hours drive away in western Massachusetts. By permanent I mean she was there 24/7 under constant care. Thank God my in-laws were able to take care of all the arrangements both financially and with visiting as I was barely able to take care of myself by the end of the first 6-month stint of being in and out of hospitals.
So why did I stay at a job I hated when my wife clearly needed me to take care of her? Well for one I thought that I was doing the right thing by keeping us financially secure and most importantly insured (for healthcare). I was trying my best to provide everything I could for Miriam as best I could, but I lost sight of what was truly important: our relationship and marriage. As time wore on I became short-tempered and saw less and less of my wife who was the reason for my getting up and going to work everyday. Now don't get me wrong (and I'm not trying to toot my own horn here), but I do think that I'm one of the most patient people I know (especially given the circumstances), a sentiment that has been bestowed on me by several other people who knew more of the in-depth details of our situation.
The stress of working somewhere I hated and always frustrated with not being able to give Miriam the care she needed or deserved finally came to a head at some point in the spring/summer of 2012. On at least three separate occasions I began to have what I can only describe as panic-attacks eventually leading to a nervous breakdown. One day I decided that there was no amount of health care or money in the world worth losing my wife or my own life over and I needed to get out of my current situation. So I guess this brings us to here, which is unemployed and in much better physical and mental shape. Now to start on getting ready for this trip.....
~Rob
